Within each person’s heart is a dark basement. If you look away or stand by, the darkness would thicken. You must summon your courage to go down and turn on the light. If you’re scared to go alone, you can hold someone’s hand.

Robin is the icon of faces. His faces are everywhere, although his mind is always somewhere else. His mind belongs to the darkest room in the deepest of the ocean. He sits still down there for a long time, not speaking, not listening, and even not moving. So many barnacles are attached to him, dragging him down deeper into a black pit but there is not a single way to get rid of them. And that is the most suitable introduction for a 19 year-old boy with hopes that he can fly someday, to touch the sky and not the ground.

It’s been 10 years since I first met Robin. Funny enough, our best memories seems to be other’s worst nightmare. I met Robin after his mother’s funeral, here at the mental hospital. His mum committed suicide that day, worse it was Robin’s birthday. However, his spirit was still soaring up high in the cloud nine. Amazed by his strength, a pact was made. This boy puts all his trust in me and even reveals to me his secret. Surprisingly, I’m still around even after knowing about his secret.

“Narae, you look dreamy. Are you day dreaming again?” and suddenly I’m back to the world.
A pair of shining hazel eyes greet me along with raised eyebrows.

“Sorry, where were we?” I smile sheepishly.

Robin purposely shakes his head in disappointment, and starts poking me with his phone, “Concentrate please. I’m in the middle of talking about Jisung”. Countless apologies are thrown at him but he annoyingly rejects them.

I grumble out of disbelief when Robin stops all of a sudden and remains still with a blank face. “You are not seriously mad, that’s just absurd.” Robin stays quiet as he starts rubbing his temple.

Noticing his movement, I put myself to ask, “Robin…what’s wrong?”

“Uh…it’s nothing. Can you go out? I’m feeling tired,” he turns 180 degrees colder. That was rude as hell. “Now?” he insists. Feelings of uneasiness and annoyance combine and conflict each other, my mind is having a war. “Narae, Go now!” he instructs me impatiently while counting down out loud. I thump my footsteps loudly on purpose to irritate him and make my way to my office.

Usually for Robin, headaches equal to nightmares. Robin often sees flashbacks or hallucinations of his childhood memories. Memories from his abusive no-good father, mother’s dark funeral and the pool of innocent blood surrounding his sister after being murdered. The amount of pain Robin holds is unbearable. During times when he is greatly pressured or traumatized, Robin goes to an ‘extreme daydreaming’ mode. However, it’s not any “normal” daydreaming. Robin’s daydream involves other people too.

Hence the reason why Robin lives in a lifeless white-grey prison without bars. Or what I like to call, hospitals. Occasionally, Robin’s mind switches itself and alternatively becomes another person. Realizing that it’s dangerous for his sake, I persuade him into staying here.

“Why dissociative Identity Disorder”

His condition causes him to possess more than one personality within him. There are times where his personalities appear one by one, and I have met them all. First is a 25 year-old bad-boy named Jisung whose dream is to be the best, and is very conceited. Then, a lively 10 year-old girl called Yona whose world revolves around dolls. The last one is the poetic suicidal 12 year-old Jiho, whose dream is to put an end to everything. The alters are Robin’s gateway and appear when he’s in great distress. The most dominant and influential alter is none other than Jisung. Jisung always confronts the most difficult moments which are full of fears and sorrows.

The thoughts buffer inside, and my mind pauses for a brief second before…

“Arghhhhhh!” A shriek is let out by one of the nurses from Robin’s room. My thoughts are disrupted and all actions come into a halt. I dash outside to check the problem.

“What’s going on?” I pant and panic at the same times. The nurse points out the room, my pair of binoculars scan the room only to find everything but… Robin. My attention quickly shift to the window. The perfect window is no more because the bolt is broken, the glass is smashed and scattered around the floor. I gawk at the scene, I keep reminding everyone, “We’re on 20th floor!!”

While looking over the window, the blue sky has turned to a dark, gloomy grey shade. A golden arch strikes as I let my head out. Worry I’d be struck by lightning, I pull my head back in. A couple of nurses run into the room, breathless. “Robin is nowhere to be found in the building!” they inform. I took in a deep breath, “Call the police, I’ll try to call him”. I hurriedly head towards my office. Just as I walk past the sofa, a little white paper catches my attention. My inner voice reads out the note,

“Don’t bother looking. I’m not coming back and Robin isn’t coming back either.
You therapy isn’t powerful enough to get rid of me.
Think twice doctor, a memory is more powerful than a stupid hypnotist.
I don’t leave easily because Robin still relies on me to face his fears.”

My legs weakens and lose my balance just from reading the note. Tears start to accumulate in my eyes, and within seconds a river is formed. While looking onto the paper, I groan out of frustration. I literally feel like I’m stepping on a bed of nails. However, tears keep falling like a waterfall.

“Ahem,” a girly voice interrupts, “Doctor Park, we found something on the CCT…V…are you okay?” Asks the girl. I wipe off my teardrops and snots, my face redden like a tomato. She questions what I am doing, “Nothing okay! God, I’m not sad because my patient is reacting again and now he disappears. I’m okay with ruining someone’s life because I fail to treat them”. She breaks into laughter, “It’s not a first time you did this. Let’s just go and check CCTV.” she pulls me by the ear.

I stroll along the pale hallways which have become paler in my eyes ever since the incident 5 minutes ago. Arriving at the security room, the atmosphere is as gloomy as a graveyard. On the monitor is a surveillance footage of Robin’s room. In the midst of observation, an unexpected action is caught on camera. 10 minutes after I left, Robin started to experience seizure-like movement while clutching his head. He screamed “Stop!!!” along with “leave me alone!” multiple times. Suddenly he stopped, and the room became dead-quiet. Only the whistle of the wind and the noise from the air conditioner could be heard. Then, slowly he lifted his head up, the atmosphere darkened.

Dark aura surrounded the room. Robin’s gaze changed as he looked up. His soft hazel eyes became darker, fiercer and stronger. An evil-like smirk replaced his bright smile. His neat hairstyle changed to a mess. “Jisung has appeared,” my eyes widen. Jisung jumped out of bed and rushed to get a chair. Without hesitation, he smashed the window and left with a ground of shattered glass.

Without realizing, my hand has taken over the panel and paused the screen.

“I’m going to call Robin again”.

With hope, I firmly dial his phone number. However, my hope has turned sour when I hear voicemail’s message. However, “The person you’re trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message.” a robotic voice replies instead. The sound of voicemail operator repeats like a playlist.

Continuously, I whine on spot. I bang my head onto the table countless times in hope that he’ll call me. That’s when my phone suddenly lights up. Having been rejected over and over, I slam the phone face down. Suddenly, I realize that maybe THIS phone call is from him. Before it’s too late, I grab my phone and hurriedly answer it.

“Hello?” the line is quiet. I furrow my eyebrow when I look at the contact labelled as ‘unknown’.

“I’m not in the mood for pranks. What do—“ someone suddenly cuts me off, the caller has a slightly husky voice, “Long time no talk”.

I frown upon hearing the voice. “Are you happy to hear from me?” the person mocks, he then continues to talk without letting me answer his question.

“Jisung, why don’t you just come—“ he interrupts, “No, I told you to choose either me or Robin”.

I feel very frustrated at this point. Jisung is very stubborn and selfish, thus it’s not easy talking him out of something. Every question I try to ask him, he’d either reject or refuse to answer. I need to try my best into persuading him that he doesn’t live alone. As he’s very self-centered, he is also very ignorant towards other’s well-being.

“But you need to come back to resolve this. You may live Jisung” I plead.

He laughs obnoxiously, “The word ‘may’ means you don't guarantee that I’ll live”.

“Wait, Jisung! Can you—“ I try to explain but he disconnects the call. Great, this is perfect. Robin’s dominant alter is planning to take over Robin. Straight after, my phone rings again. As I look at the caller ID, I’m quite disappointed to see it’s not who I want to hear from.

“Yes, this is Doctor Park Narae.” I reply.

“We have located patient Robin. For the safety of the patient, I advise we proceed ahead.” He insists and I give them the green light.

My heart feels at ease to know where he is. I sit back and relax while I wait for the officers to get to the hospital. I hope it won’t take too long to bring him back; seeing how aggressive Jisung can be, I hope everything goes well.

1 hour passes…

2 hours pass…

3 hours pass…

My nails have become shorter ever since I start biting them out of nervousness. “Doctor Park, we’re coming up the elevator with Jisung.” My intercom buzzes. I jump out of my seat and proceed towards elevator.

As I approach the elevator, the door suddenly opens and I see Jisung in a wheelchair. I figure they put him to sleep since he might’ve put on a fight. “Let’s put him back to his room” I lead the officers into his room. Previously, the room is a mess but now it’s as clean as new.

“Lie him down and just let him be” I instruct, “and oh, don’t try to wake him up. We don’t know whether he’ll wake up as Jisung or Robin or other alters”. I am just hoping he’ll wake up as Robin because usually through unconsciousness, alters and Robin can switch back.

Everyone is dismissed from the room, but I stay because I have to keep an eye on him. I make myself a cup of tea to reward and calm myself at the same time. “Narae!” Someone screams my name and I choke on my tea. I look up to see a smiling Robin sitting on his bed.

Tears of happiness start to pour. “Robin…” then… the world blurred out.

“Wake up! Seriously, shouldn’t I be the one who fainted just now? Please stop trying to steal my thunder.” Robin’s unstoppable nagging wakes me up. Without much thinking, my body crashes on to his. “Okay, don’t get too comfortable,” he snickers.

“Sorry, it is such a sentimental moment okay. You know how scary it was… Jisung wants to live. Like literally living as one personality.” Robin’s eyebrows go up, “He wants to kill you,” his mouth forms the letter ‘O’. “Well, actually kill your personality, but technically if your personality disappears then you don't exist. So yeah, he wants to kill you.” Robin gasps jokingly.

Robin assures me that he will try his best not to let his hallucination get to his head. Although, he doesn’t guarantee his alters will remain calm inside.

———————————————————————————

Weeks later.

Robin’s condition has been stable for the past weeks. At least after the incident of Jisung kidnapping Robin, he realizes the consequences his alters’ actions can bring. Hopefully, none of his alters will appear anytime soon. And oh! Today is Saturday.

“Let’s go out! It is Saturday,” a 5 year-old man-boy drags me by the neck. Robin plasters a big smile on his face, he seems happier than ever. However, Robin has been draining my energy lately so today I feel extremely exhausted. On purpose, I stand extra close to him when talking.

“What…” he responds slyly, continues his play with the phone.

I grunt and pout at him. I exaggeratedly touch the thick, saggy dark skin underneath my eyes but he’s too unresponsive to notice. I even use my secret weapon - the puppy dog eyes, but Robin doesn’t waver.

I grunt, “Fine”.

He decides to go to a trick eye museum. But, before even exiting the hospital, we start to argue. We argue about our method of reaching the destination. The argument continues until it reaches a point where Robin sulks. Not even bothered to finish our argument, he leaves me behind and continues to walk vigorously ahead.

“Whatever!” I scream at him.

When I reach the bus stop, there is a big sign on top of the bus timetable, “Bus stop suspended till further notice”. There's no other choice, either I drag my body or crawl to the destination.

“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting comfortably for you” He bats his eyelashes obnoxiously. I gag, “You look more of an eyesore rather than an eye-opener to be honest”. He ignores me and whines to go inside quickly.

Inside the museum, there are so many interesting paintings on the wall. We go through the paintings one by one, the place is literally a maze and I’m the runner.

“I hear there’s a mirror maze here, we have to go!” His eyes are screaming excitement. He walks happily as he literally drags me there without giving me the chance to object. Because mazes are so much fun.

A tall man greets us at the entry, “Only one person can go in at a time,” he shows off his eye-smile. It makes my heart flutters. Though, I can feel Robin eyeing me from the sides. Robin clears his throat. He pushes through and enters straightaway, and awkwardness take over the scene. The guy asks whether I wanted to go in together with him but I laugh at his question instead.

————————————
30 minutes later.

It’s been half an hour and I have been patiently waiting for him to come out. An unsettling feeling begins welling inside me, and I start to have cold-sweat all of a sudden. The staff sees me and asks whether I’m okay.

“You know, the maze’s exit is over there,” he gestures to the right. I groan out of disbelief, he could’ve informed me so I wouldn’t have to wait patiently like an idiot. “Thank you.” I smile with mixed feelings.

As I rush to the exit, the area is empty. I keep groaning out of frustration as I try to find a staff nearby. “Excuse me!” I call out to a girl with medium black hair.

She turns around with a confused look on her face. Her actions come to a halt.

“Have you seen a tall, s-skinny boy with short black h-hair wearing black skinny jeans and navy blue jumper came out of the maze?” my voice stutters as I’m panting. The girl shrugs and tells me that there isn’t any boy that matches my description in the building. Hearing her reply, I panic.

Before wasting any time, I sprint to find another staff. Just my luck, I can’t seem to find anyone who’s not with a customer. As I’m about to give up, the same male staff from the mirror maze comes running to me.

“Are you still looking for that boy?” he yells as he runs.

My eyes bolt out of its socket, I nod again and again. “WHERE???” I yell back.

He nods, “I saw him going up to the rooftop. Take the staircase next to the emergency exit then keep going up”. I give him thumbs up and quickly find an emergency exit nearby.

I run up the stairs like a maniac, “I—f-feel li-I-ike dying right now.” I whisper to myself as I struggle to catch a breath. I stop for a moment and look up to see layers and layers of staircase ahead of me. “I can do this for Robin’s sake!” I make up my mind with full determination, and sprint upstairs.

As I reach the rooftop, the door is wide open and so is my mouth. My body freezes, my hands are sweating profusely and I feel suffocated. I can’t believe what’s in front of me…

“ROBIN, GET OFF THE LEDGE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!” I scream in shock.

The boy turns around lifelessly. His face is pale and his gaze is fixed on blank space. Suddenly, I pity him. His hair is a mess, his eyes are puffy red and hands are trembling. My footsteps become lighter as I try to approach him. Jiho doesn’t budge a bit, he remains expressionless while facing me.

“We should talk when we feel sad.” I softly try to talk him out but… all of a sudden… Jiho stands up.

He takes a glance at me then looks away, “At some point I started looking at the ground more than the sky. I hold out my hand but no one holds it. I just want to say good bye”. Jiho stands on the ledge, and looks down. He spreads out his arms, as if to fly. He extends one foot over the edge, and leans forward.

“NO!!!” Jiho freezes, and turns away from the ledge.

“Come down.” I plead, holding out my hand. “If you want to save me, I need to die,” he turns his back from me. Instantly I grab at Jiho’s leg, but he shakes me off.

“You don’t have the right to die whenever you please, since you share Robin’s body.” I scream at him.

“I am only doing what the others don’t have the courage to do. I am tired of living this way, as a mutant, never knowing which personality will control the body next,” confesses Jiho. And, it breaks my heart a little.

“Everyone has several people living inside them. There’s me who wants to live, and me who wants to die. I live every day fighting against me who just wants to give up. You don’t even have the courage to fight!”

He looks down at me who’s clutching his legs. He places his hands on my arm, thinking he’s going to come down, I smile. However, he pushes me off with all his power. I fall and crash to the floor. He looks dismayed to see me hurt, but he turns to the ledge nevertheless.

Shaking off the pain, I climb up next to him and pull him to the lower level of the roof. “I am sick of these childish games. This body is not yours to harm and you don’t have the right to do so. Robin, stop being scared and come out!” I yell at Jiho’s face while grabbing his collar.

As I plead him to come back to his senses, “Narae…” Robin’s voice appears out of nowhere.

I let out a big relief sigh, “Finally you rascal, let’s go back to hospital. I’m too tired for today”.
“Yeah, unexpectedly I feel tired as well,” he giggles as he helps me stand up.

“You did this by the way.” I point at my messy look. “You look better though,” an unexpected wink is returned by Robin.

Eh, what was that for?

When we reach the hospital, he tells me not to stay in his room because he finds it uncomfortable to have his every move monitored by me. So, I go straight to my office. Even though I don't feel right leaving him alone after what happened, I decide to have faith in him.

“Where’d you go?” one of my roommates asks. I laugh then continue to tell her about the incident before. She gasps, “I cannot believe what you did. That is hardcore”.

In the midst of laughing, “Agh” I flinch unexpectedly. She looks at me then instruct me to lift my shirt a little. My ribs are slightly bruised, maybe because of my crash before. “Oh…” she trails off before getting me some ointment.

Suddenly, an alarm breaks out, “Doctor Narae please report to room 312A immediately”. I gasp as I realize that it’s from Robin’s room. “I need to go, I’ll do it later. Thank you.” I hurriedly exit the office. I sprint along the hallway, the sound of sneakers’ skit marks break the silence.

Robin’s room is wide open when I get there. Several nurses are already inside the room, waiting for me. “Robin escapes again” a male nurse informs. I put my head down with full regrets.
I should’ve not trusted him.

My legs drag me to every corner of the room, however my search results in nothing. When the feeling of hopelessness struck, I look up to the ceiling and I find a note taped up there. I quickly request a chair. One of the male nurses climbs up instead of me because I am afraid of heights.

The note reads, “Perhaps this sky will become my grave”.

As soon as I read the note, I dash out of the room to the hospital’s rooftop. I am 100% sure that Jiho has come back and still insists on committing suicide. The rooftop feels eerie for some reason. The wind is howling and thunder strikes its beautiful glow. I steadily approach the rooftop’s ledge where I find a pair of shoe next to the edges. Suddenly, a dark shadow towers over me.

I freeze, and goosebumps are rising. “Why are you here,” says a very low tone voice.

Not bothering to turn around I answer on the spot, “To prevent you from killing yourself”.

Jiho stays quiet, for once he doesn’t fight back saying he wants to die like previously. This time Jiho actually laughs which surprises me.

“Why did you laugh? Jiho, death is not a joke.” I punch him softly as if he’s a punching bag.

Jiho gives me an unexpected smile. “I have realized that Robin deserves to live as a normal person. I know there’s a way for him to live normally”, he takes a seat next to the ledge.

I am stunned at what he’s saying right now. “Are you perhaps—“

“For Robin to live normally, we, his alters need to go on vacation right? So I’ve decided that I’d travel to the sky where I’ll lay my mind and body” his talk makes me teary, “I just wish that without me, he can be normal again. But, I want to say that I’m thankful you’re always there.”

He manages one last smile and says he’s feeling sleepy, then faces downwards.

I crouch down and unconsciously start crying in earnest, calling out to Jiho. “You’ll have an amazing time up there”.

Robin then wakes up,

“Did Jiho just…” before he finishes, I nod.

“I never thought I’d have to say good bye like this. This moment has never come across in my mind.” I blurt out my feelings. Robin stares at me thoughtfully, “I will miss them but I know they’re still a part of me”.

I look into his eyes and I can see Jiho in him. We stay in the same position for quite some time while the wind howls behind us. Then, a lightning breaks out and we are startled.

He stands up before me and reaches out his hand. I look up to him, “It’s going to rain soon,” he smiles at me. I blush and nod in return.

While we walk back to his room, I tell him that I’m going to stay with him in case of another breakout. He agrees and tell me that he’d like a company. We sit down in his bed and drink a cup of tea and have cakes I bought from the cafeteria. Since it’s pouring outside we decide to talk about his alters. We always talk about it when atmosphere is somewhat gloomy.

“Do you feel glad that Jiho’s gone now?” asks Robin while fiddling with the bed sheet. My mouth feels shut tight, talking about Jiho is the least thing I want to do.

“Rather than being glad or not, I’m mostly concerned with the other alters. Even if Jiho decides to go, it doesn’t mean that Yona or Jisung will go right? If either or both come out, there’s a big chance they’re leaving. Especially Yona because she only comes when you feel down. She’s like an entertainer”.

He shrugs, “Jiho is there when I have suicidal thoughts, Yona is there when I feel down and hopeless whereas Jisung is there when I become weak”.

I take a sip of my tea and sigh. Out of nowhere, he pulls out a book. He puts the book on my lap and gesture for me to read. When I grab a hold of it, the book reads “Alter’s Reflection”.

Opening the first page I see 3 things: to respect, to care and to live. I guess that’s their motto. As I flip through, the book outlines vaguely what kind of memory or feelings each alters possesses. The book itself reflects that Jisung has the worst emotional scar out of all the personalities.

“Jisung needs to express his anger because unless Jisung is able to let out his rage, he will never be able to disappear”.

He lowers his head slightly, and lets out a disappointed sigh. “I don’t understand what kind of resentment he has and to whom!” yells Robin out of frustration. I grab the cup out of his hand and put it on the bedside table.

“You should have a rest. After all, you feel extremely tired” I pull myself out of his bed. He grabs the blanket over his head and falls asleep that way.

Looking at his sleeping face makes me sleepy as well, so I drag myself to the soft couch. The moment my body touches the couch, it blends in together. I feel at peace. Not long after, I fall asleep as well.

“Cat, let’s go shopping with Ken,” a girly voice echoes throughout the room.

Then, a low-toned voice joins the conversation. “Yeah Cat, just go along with me and Nat,”

I furrow my eyebrow at this conversation. I crack open my eyes slightly, but I don’t see anyone. Especially I don't see any little girl in the room. “Ken, can we ride your car?” the voice echoes again. Quietly, I rise from my sleeping position. I start to think whether I’m having hallucination or maybe I mishear it.

From the corner of my eyes, someone is eyeing me. “Who’s there?” I ask.

The person giggles continuously, and they make me feel frustrated. Just come out idiot…Then, out of nowhere, Robin pops out. His appearance is somewhat different. This Robin is wearing a white fluffy skirt with denim jeans underneath, navy blue polo top and a white headband. The hairstyle changes to an apple hairstyle.

“Robin?” I gasp.

He asks me shyly, “Narae wants to play with Yona?”

My mouth forms the letter ‘O’. Somehow, Yona has appeared. Yona is Robin’s third alter. She is very bright and cheerful, her role is to entertain Robin in a way to lift his spirit. When Robin becomes deeply sad, she will come out and take his sadness away. She is the least dangerous character because her appearance means that Robin is not in deep pain.

I approach her and crouch down, “What is Yona doing out here?”

Yona didn’t answer me, she’s too busy with the dolls. I wave my hand in front of her to distract her from the dolls.

“Yona comes here to say that Narae has been a very wonderful big sister. Yona wants Narae to know that she won’t be annoying anymore so Narae has to be nice to Robin. She ….”

I sit down, recognizing it’s a goodbye. Eyes full, Yona tells me I was the first girl she met who wants to play with her. She tells me to be well, and goes up to the bed leaving her dolls on the floor.

“Yona feels sleepy all of a sudden.” she yawns. I watch over her as she falls asleep.

The next thing, Robin wakes up with Yona’s hairband in hand. This means that Yona is gone. Robin's droopy eyes looks up to me. Somehow when I see Robin, Yona’s reflection appears. He tells me that this is a sign of improvement.

 

—————————————————
A couple of months later.

After they disappear, there has been no flashbacks or hallucinations from Robin. He feels less tormented at times since a part of him has learnt how to control his own emotion. However, Jisung hasn’t left yet. Still, there’s no guarantee whether Jisung will leave or stay longer within his mind.

“Narae…” a familiar voice comes knocking at my office door. When I open, I find Robin with swollen red eyes. He sniffs and wipes his runny nose. His body is shivering even though it’s 25 degrees Celsius. His complexion is as pale as a white snow, also he’s as cold as ice.

I quickly pull him in and make him sit down. Then, I grab a thermometer and ask whether he feels okay. He says he’s just really tired and needs to talk to someone because he’s bored. However, I don’t think that’s the case.

The thermometer shows that he is suffering from a 39 degree Celsius fever. Usually, Robin only gets a fever when his condition deteriorates. Since it is 3 am in the morning, he seems to be having a nightmare before.

“Did something happen? You’re in a really bad condition.” Robin worries me. He shakes his head consistently, denying that he had only a nightmare or whatever.

I can only sigh and make him some hot chocolate to calm him down. At this point, I’m only hoping that this nightmare won’t trigger the appearance of Jisung. “Here, have some.” I hand him a bottle of medicines. He takes a one-shot and gulps them down as if he’s rushing. I’m surprised to see him act this way.

“Slowly, Robin, seriously you’re not on a run” I try calming him down.

Robin stands up and throws back the medicines, “Thanks, I’m going back now,” and he left. I feel dumbfounded by him. This kind of attitude gives me the biggest question mark.

After he leaves, I can’t seem to get any sleep because my heart is literally beating out of its cage. Until the new dawn breaks, I haven’t laid my head down once and the dark circles has grown till a point where I look like a panda. The alarm will soon go off as the clock says it’s 7am.

Before having breakfast, I pay Robin a visit because I can’t contain the nervousness anymore. The moment I reach and touch the door handle, I sense some movement inside the room. The door creeks as I slowly twist the handle, but, out of nowhere the door pushes back and it hit me.

“Robin, can you open the door? I forgot something there.” I tell a little white lie just in case he’s in a sensitive mood. Out of my surprise, no one answers. I bring my ears close to the door and eavesdrop what’s going on in there. Though, all I can hear is some low mumbles. That makes me feel anxious and a tad scared.

Wanting to know the situation, I pull myself together and push the door at once. It is like I’m at a scene of shipwreck. Pieces of shattered glass everywhere, pillow bursts out of its case, bed sheets on the floor, tables and sofas are turned upside down and Robin’s personal belongings including books, stationeries and clothes are damaged.

“Robin—” I call out to him but there’s no response. Then, the silence is interrupted by the sound of toilet flush along with the sound of water flowing. A tall, slim-figured man wearing black skinny jeans with oversized denim jacket comes out of the toilet. For a moment I can’t recognize the person until he lifts his face. A pair of golden eyes stares at me.

“Hello there,” a man walks past me without even taking a glance. The man sits on the torn sofa, quietly in the midst of mayhem. Not a single word is uttered about my presence in the room. I gather up courage to approach him. From a distance, I start to question him about the room.

“So what actually happens here?”

The man smirks and shakes his head. “Nothing happens,” he casually denies. However, the sight clearly screams “catastrophe”. It’s impossible for a dead room to mess up itself, someone must’ve done something.

“Okay, I actually feel bad playing with you so I’ll tell you the truth,” he breaks into laughter. With nose scrunch up and eyebrows knit close together, he makes me feel lost.

The man pulls me down and sits me next to him. He grabs my hand and cups them, “Listen,” he starts off. “Don’t think of me as Jisung, Jiho or Robin and of course not even Yona”.

“How d—“mouth moving wordlessly, I stare at him in shock.

He takes a deep breath, “I’m the fourth alter and my name is Han. I’m 22 years old which makes me the oldest alter inside Robin, but don’t ask me why Robin created me because I don’t know either. My presence is just there for extra support so I suppose that’s why I rarely ever come out,” he shrugs.

Han continues, “I’ve noticed how much Robin has improved and I am aware of the disappearance of other alters”.

I come to realization as soon as he explains that, “You’re leaving as well?”

He nods slightly. He tells me no matter how much he wants to stay - even if he has to live as an additional conscience, he still wants to stay. But because he’s the oldest, he doesn’t want to rebel and he knows it’s for Robin’s sake.

“But you did this?” I gesture around.

Han laughs nervously, “No, Jisung did. He came out just before you got into the room. Remember how the door came back at you? Well, Jisung did that then it’s all sudden quietness right? That’s when I came in”.

Oh my god! “What did you say?” Han asks as if he hears something.

“I’m going now,” Han lowers his head to his knee. “Thanks for helping Robin,” he smiles genuinely. As if someone walks past me, I feel him leave the room.

Straight after, the next person wakes up. Although, he isn’t the one I wish for.

This person has a much darker complexion with his dark hazel eyes piercing through me. He looks at me with disgust then stands up instantly. The sound of mouth clicking echoes throughout the room. He goes into the bathroom bare-faced and comes out with full eyeliner.

“You met Han? He left already” he shoves past me. I look at this rude character and roll my eyes. “This place looks nice,” he snarls.

He keeps telling me how empty he is, apparently he lets go of everything. Through this messy room, he pours it all out. Though, I don't quite understand. “I’m bored here, I need to escape” he takes a sit across me with his hand crossed.

“You can’t go any—“he cuts me off, “No stupid, I mean I’m bored of THIS world,” he specifically emphasizes on the word ‘this’. My eyes widen at his remark, and I recall something from my head.

“Jisung needs to express his anger because unless Jisung is able to let out his rage, he will never be able to disappear.”

Can this be a sign of good bye?

“Yeah, I’m saying good bye” replies Jisung as if he can hear my thoughts. I give him a baffled look, he does nothing but shrugs, saying that he isn’t needed anymore. Follows by that is a threat to come back and take over Robin’s body and time if he becomes a weakling again, “So it would be good if he lives well.”

Jisung leaves like that and makes me feel completely attacked for no reason. After sometimes standing still like the Statue of Liberty, a very happy person waves his hand ferociously in front of me.

The person becomes clear when I come back to my sense. Though, I burst into tears straightaway. “Everyone left, Jisung left peacefully just now. I met Han for the first time. Though Jisung threatens to come back if you become weak again”. Tears stream down my face, and Robin smiles at me through his own tears.

“But you know, Jisung is right. Their disappearance does not mean they’re gone forever. Narae, they live within me. God knows they can come out anytime in the future, though, it is the first time Jisung ever leaves… he literally volunteers to disappear.”

He walks towards the window and stands with his back facing me. The light frames him like an angel, and that makes me think of something…

Within each person’s heart is a dark basement. If you look away or stand by, the darkness would thicken. You must summon your courage to go down and turn on the light. If you’re scared to go alone, you can hold someone’s hand.

Robin turns around and grins, “Here, each day is new and happy”. Stretching the corners of my mouth, I give him a big smile, however.

Jisung would’ve been able to fight against Robin, if he has the will…